Wholeagain, part 2

[pearlharbr]

WA, you really must try to get it together. You may think they're pointless emails but they can do damage. It's not enough to think, "oops, another backslide." Make a plan to deal with it differently next time. Write it out on a piece of paper then shred it. Do something to get it out without letting it get out to H. I say this from experience. I thought I had a couple backslides, no harm no foul. Later found out that those backslides did push BF toward OW. If I hadn't gotten a handle on things I know I would be in a different place now.

[Wholeagain]

I know what you mean. But we are not talking R, it is only business. It is easier to do it through e-mail, because I reread, edit, delete, and always delete recipient's address before typing up a reply (learnt it the hard way!).

I reread my e-mails. I think they are ok. Nothing to feel bad about.

[Wholeagain]

Pearl, thank you for sending me excerpts on anger. I appreciate that. I have some passive-aggressive going on. I don't want to be difficult, because he's being difficult. I need to approach this problem with clear head.

[bright_new_day]

I slip into that mode as well. He acts like a jerk, so I react. That's one of those things i really need to work on....take the high road, be the better person....keep repeating that to myself!

[Wholeagain]

How do you take the high road? Do you ignore what he said and repeat yourself? How many times do you need to repeat? Do you go with his demands?

[Wholeagain]

Normally I would try to arrange something, but it goes into an endless back and forth e-mailing with no result.

[pearlharbr]

Specifics would help here WA.

I would repeat myself a couple times then end the conversation if he's still being combative. If a decision needs to be made then make it.

Hope the barrage of messages wasn't too overwhelming! Those are all the ones I kept to reread myself.

[bright_new_day]

I guess by taking the high road, I mean don't stoop to his level. If he is berrating you and calling you names and being difficult do not do the same. Keep all communication at a business level. If it isn't something you would send regarding a business transaction then don't send it. Keep the tone impersonal and on track, never bring up the past, because that is not the current issue. These are things i need to remind myself of!!!

[Wholeagain]

I don't know what kind of business transaction can be about having access to your own things. Someone has hijacked your home with everything and you have to talk nicely and do their every demand to have access to it.

By passive aggressive I mean, if he's making it difficult to me with the house, I don't want to make it easy for him with his mail.

[Wholeagain]

difficult to me = difficult for me