I didn't see talia's draft about her shortcomings as dependent, but perhaps unduly supplicating towards a H who, whatever her shortcomings, chose to break his vow of fidelity rather than deal with the problems and/or leave the marriage in an honorable way. And of course in typical adulterer style, he would magnify her shortcomings to justify his actions.
The way she wrote in response to someone here, showed a woman who used a marital crisis and painful situation to examine herself and grow into a better person, for her own sake and to be a better partner in the future to H or someone else. It sounded like a humble, but confident person taking responsibility for her personal growth.
"I am the one that has the power to end my pain, no one else." It is amazingly empowering.
Good sentiment to a degree. I would say "I am the one who has power to remove myself from a painful situation which doesn't look like it will improve". Once you stop the ongoing pain, there is still pain to heal however. That is a task for ourselves, but primarily happens through positive, healing interactions with others. Pain caused in relationship, is usually healed in relationship also. "I deserve better from myself." Especially, the word 'from' as opposed to 'for' which is more ego based.
I like that too. I don't have a problem with "I deserve better for myself." either. Sometimes, you can reach down and give the best from yourself, and you still won't be treated well by others.
There's nothing wrong having a healthy ego. In fact, it is quite necessary. Part of a healthy ego is our sense of self-esteem, self-respect, personal boundaries, and values.
