how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

i don't want to push for a D at all...and i haven't even spoken to the family friend/lawyer yet. and i'm not in a hurry to. i know my H feels badly about putting us both through this because he's had an equally hard time and has been hurting a lot, too. talia, i know you said it's good that he stopped by, but that maybe it was out of guilt or loneliness, which could certainly be true. but for him to stop by when there was literally so much snow blowing around you couldn't see 3 feet in front of you...i don't know, i think that's a little more than loneliness. again i'm not trying to mind read, but if i was lonely and had the option to trek through a blizzard or stay on my couch and read a book...i'd most likely pick the book.

OTM, if i see him again this weekend, i would be anxious in that nervous/excited/hesitant kind of way. i don't want to NOT talk to him or NOT see him...

he also said last night he was thinking a lot about faith, which is something he's never expressed interest in before. he gave me "have a little faith" by the author of tuesdays with morrie, which i started last night and i know he already read (well, it's an audio book, so i know he listened to it on a long car trip home over christmas). just to hear him say that word, faith, definitely has my ears perked up.