Wife wants best of both worlds

[Cie la vie]

DW,

You know my thoughts, the request seems reasonable enough but tough to enforce. I know you mentioned that the OM doesn't want to get caught up in your wheel house so to speak. So, if you find yourself at a kids event and OM is there be careful you don't do something you might regret. I fully understand the mindset of wanting to go off but nothing good will come of it.

I also understand the anger as well. Mine seems to ebb and flow on a daily basis and my W's relations with OM's is not as advanced or at least I don't believe they are as your W's. But she is working on it.

I agree with rr22, I wouldn't care too much whether it bothers her or not. She has been abusing you and she is devoid of any empathy. I know the feeling, yet we tend tip toe around them because of our desire to save the M.