Running out of time.

[ClingingToHope]

She spent most of Sunday painting (or so she told me) at her new apartment. I know I shouldn't waste energy speculating on her mindset but it makes me think she is excited to be on her own and setting up shop. Not something I need to be thinking about.

This is a big part of the process as well. Another wise poster put it this way. Most WAS's have been dreaming about being free for a long time -- right or wrong -- and the first six months of being on their own is euphoria. They can come and go as they please. They have no one to answer to. They can do whatever they want with whoever and buy everything they wanted to but didn't ask for.

That lasts about six months to a year and that's when maybe remorse starts to set in. Depending on what happens, it might not be much fun to have to keep up with the bills and housework by yourself. The nights alone start to pile up.

I remember when I hit six months out of the house I felt pretty good. I told myself the first six months were hers, the next six are mine.

In my case, we are farther apart than ever -- no reconciliation talk at all -- but she is swamped with bills, overwhelmed at work (D10 tells me she cries a lot because of the pressure) and her social outlet is hanging out at biker bars 30 minutes from here because that's where her best friend lives and she won't see anyone who knows me.

Me. I still want a second chance, but I've picked up two jobs (summer and winter) that allows me to continue to take the girls fun places. I've reached out and gone out with several different people. The only thing that hasn't happened yet is dating and I'm feeling more confident that will happen once I'm actually single.

And I've gotten better at trying to figure out what's going on in her head. Our last conversation, the heated Wednesday argument about her divorce petition, just showed again that we both are just assuming the worst about each other.