First you don't discuss your age or your husband's age, but there are a lot of men out there with low testosterone levels. There is something called metabolic syndrome, which often includes being significantly overweight, (low testosterone levels in men), high insulin rates or type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and a variety of other things. Similarly, high stress or chronic lack of sleep can also do bad things to a man.
You might want to first ask your husband get a complete physical from bone scan, blood tests for testosterone, anemia, bood glucose, etc. It could be extremely important for his health.
Once you have ruled out the medical issues, then you probably need to work on your relationship. Michele Weiner-Davis has several great books that you might want to read. Other books often suggested include the Five Lanaguages of Love (Chapman) and Hold Me Tight (Sue Johnson). Another intersting book is the Passionate Marriage, in which David Schnarch says that having differing levels of sexual desire in a marriage is normal and part of the wonder of marriage, which forces a committed couple into growing emotionally together. His approach does a lot of things to force couples to really understand who they each are and think about how much they need their partner and the things that they do to keep and please their partner.
I am sure others more successful that I, will be able to offer you more suggestions. The suggestion above on "getting a life" and making you the best "you" can be is at the core of almost every success. Once you set an example of change for your spouse, they then will notice the change and potentially seek to move toward the new you by changing the way they act.
Good luck
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
