Fast track to her divorcing me

[dday101798]

but I am waiting to see if an OM will now pop into the picture.

Umm, G, assume fetal 'crash' position, here comes the good 'ol 2x4 again.

Why? Why are you going to wait around? For what? The reality of the matter here, no matter when they started an A or R at whatever time, he's no longer a OTHER MAN, he's now HER MAN.

As such, you are now D, her problems by that nature are no longer yours in any sense. And should someone else be in the picture, good, terrific, let's see how long they are willing to put up with them. And at the same time that they don't assist or at least make an attempt, let's see how long they want to be around and hear how you USED to. And that will get her gears turning and start to lift that preverbial fog.

How do I know?

Been there, done that.

You have a long time together under your belt. A's and OP in general, as said, don't last. No matter how bleak it may look now, don't discourage yourself. If you were the 'great person' you proclaimed to be, she will be back and what the papers say, who cares?

In the meantime, here's the problem. You've been db'ing trying to reach the person she once was. As said, that is wrong as db'ing is for you. But still, we'll look at it this way, you wanted back the person she was. The person she became has gone full tilt with the D. Do you really want to try and appease that version of her? Do you really want to associate yourself with that person she is now?

"No" you say?

Then don't. Let some other schmuck take her beatings. Let some other schmcuk be her psychological punching bag.

You are free to go. Stings, yers. But none the less, you carry no more burdens. So go. Live a burden free life and enjoy it. Get so wrapped up in yourself that you finally FORGET all that has transpired.

And when you least expect it, something will happen, I guarentee it.