D13 calmed down last night late and I am going to communicate with her therapist to find out better ques to give my D when she is experiencing frustration and anger. (Problem/my action/ solution) and I did not train wreck any progress my W has made.
S9 is going to be sad no matter what happens, I need to be his Rock so he can anchor on. If I want his sitch to have the possibility of his mom coming home then me going off on her is not going to aid in that no matter how right I am about what she is doing that is tearing apart the family. Patience I have. It is especially hard to have that patience when it comes to your children's pain. You want to make it go away instantly and almost anything I would say to my W would just prolong the pain for everyone. I am back in the "deep thoughts" mode here.
Very good to hear you say that. Now just a matter of 'doing'.
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I was thinking of letting her read it
You're going to let you wife read it...how enlightened of you. ; ) I'm just poking fun at you, I know what you mean, just sounded a bit controlling.
Just like you won't know what it takes for her to hit bottom, you also have no idea what is going to get past her MLC laser turrets in her crazy cotton filled head. Then again you ALSO do not know what is going to provoke a retalitory strike from the same crazy cotton filled head.
Lets say she reads the book, totally gets WHY you suggested it, and instead of a warm sunny morning, you get a nuclear winter...good job!
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On the otherhand I could say nothing and see if he brings it up to her.
Now that idea I like.
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which I don't do even though she is IMO the person responsible for the pain we are all in.
Actually...if she is in an MLC, whatever f-tard screwed up her childhood is the real culprit. IMHO a little more 'understanding' might lend weight to your earlier words. You are choosing this suffer this pain by being here, so cast a little stone at yourself.
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My only concern here is that she will think that I told him about her dating other men.
If you didn't then do not worry about it. If she asks, tell the truth.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Okay, that is 2 for "the say nothing option" which I am leaning that way. Forehead is free of any lumber products, well almost.....
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
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I was thinking of letting her read it
You're going to let you wife read it...how enlightened of you. ; ) I'm just poking fun at you, I know what you mean, just sounded a bit controlling.
you can always count on airbourne wood when Jack is around, JK, thanks. It does speak volumes to times I have come across controlling with the wrong choice of words.
Jack, just wondering here, were you the kid in the grocery store that would pull the can of greenbeans off the bottom of the display stacked to the ceiling just to see what would happen?
D13's soccer game is tonight and I really don't want to worry about what my W might be thinking after reading some of my S9's book. It has been nice around her for several days and other than the issues with my kids, I have been in a good place personally, and I have put about 4 pounds on and it is staying. Generally feeling good and more like myself, I don't have to think about having a smile on my face, it is there w/o thinking about it.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Jack, just wondering here, were you the kid in the grocery store that would pull the can of greenbeans off the bottom of the display stacked to the ceiling just to see what would happen?
Only if that can was a whiney bicth can. : ) "Why can't I be carrots?" "Its not fair! Why am I on the bottom?"
When you start catching yourself with your choice of words, it helps.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Somehow I ended up reading almost your whole situation (four kids here at the moment...so little possibility of work). I just have to say...job well done.
Keep working hard, expectations at zero, and your kids in your heart....everything else will work out.
Business side of things-I see you are in NC.....make sure you are aware of all the laws regarding your situation.....including tort laws. I am not being vindictive....just know all of them and NC has some old ones that don't exist in most states.
Now I am off that unsavory topic....have a great day and enjoy the snow...again!
