I put myself out there - now to be patient and see what happens - and I am not a real patient person. Trying hard not to be the "fix-it" person.
This hit home! I am feeling the exact same way. The waiting for something that may/may not happen is killing me! I have the same "fix-it" mentality too- you just want to look at the situation, lay out a few options and proceed with one of them. The no man's land limbo thing is driving me insane... any tips for coping?
mb28- we fix it addicts need to stick together..:)
on a ligher note... I am a Soap Opera addict too and why do they have to have some much valentine's day STUFF on!!
LNG Me - 37 H - 42 S - 19 D - 16 D - 14 M - 20 years S - 1/11/2010 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942142&page=1
LOL - don't temp me I created on Mentally exhausted - but not giving up!! LOL bad thing is all my daughters friends are joining... they are way too young to be mentally exhausted.
LNG Me - 37 H - 42 S - 19 D - 16 D - 14 M - 20 years S - 1/11/2010 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942142&page=1
lostnotgone, The detaching is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do too. And I have not been very good at it either. He gives me a tiny little positive sign, and I melt. I hate that he has that affect on me.
You sound like you are doing good, keep up the good work.
A quick Buddhism note... The Buddhists point out that all suffering is caused by our desires to have what we don't have.
Secret to stopping suffering in Buddhism... stop your desires (detatch). Still easier said than done though.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
Not sure if the OWH, but I found out today that the OW father found out. My H texted and called me saying he was done, how dare I do something like that, blah blah blah. The funny thing is I had nothing to do with her father finding out. I guess someone sent him a letter saying she was having an affair with a married man.
I let my H have it. I told him how dare he accuse me of something I had nothing to do with. I told him this was his and OW's mess and I want no part of it. I said that it was sick how he was letting this OW control him and that she means nothing to me, and then called her a few choice names. He immediately started to apologize to me and say he was sorry. I finally told him I was done with all this drama and hung up on him.
He started texted me how sorry he was and wanted to know if he could come over and talk. I said NO!!!! He kept texting “I’m sorry”, and I didn’t respond, then he finally texted “Does this mean your done with me now”. I responded that I didn’t know what I wanted, and that I needed some time, and that I was sick of him treating me like @#%%. He responded with “I understand, I’m sorry; please let me know when you want to talk”. I haven’t responded and that was about 3 hours ago.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
I say let him stew for a good long time. It sounds like showing justifiable outrage got his attention! Is that a 180 for you?
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
flowmom, I'll let him stew for awhile. That was a 180 for me, at least lately. I'm usually pretty strong and stand up for myself. However, in the last few months I've been trying to be more passive. It felt good to let go of some of that built up anger, and it was totally justifiable.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
