And I couldn't agree more on the compartmentalization. My XW made a big deal about declaring us "separated" even though we were living in the same house and doing family things. I believe it's to reduce some of the guilt they feel.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
WOW... Outstanding,, that is EXACTLY on the mark, powerful, factual, direct and sums up my feeling and emotions to the tee...
Thank you AGAIN, for your insight and input...DD
You're welcome, but it was pretty easy. I just recommended you say what I said, to my own father-in-law.
The man meant (means) the world to me, and I would never, EVER lie to him or disrespect him in any way. Watching my wife lie to her own parents was just about the hardest thing I had to deal with when she was having her affair. At one point, she told her dad -- when he called her, imploring her to come to her senses, and that her mother was sobbing every day about "you kids and those grandkids," told her dad "Yeah, well, tell her she's just going to have to get over it."
And I couldn't agree more on the compartmentalization. My XW made a big deal about declaring us "separated" even though we were living in the same house and doing family things. I believe it's to reduce some of the guilt they feel.
Agree with ALL of this, above, about this. Very, very typical.
When my wife came out of her fog, she explained to me that it was as if she was in a movie, watching herself do the things she was doing. She KNEW it was wrong, but it was like she was watching someone else do them!
W has moved out of the home and into her own apartment. She has the 3 kids living with her now, I see them, have them overnight at my place, but not to manner or amount that I would prefer.
Had I not come home early from a Dr's appt, W would have moved much more than she had already moved out.. Lawyers contacted, escalating sentiments,, getting bad AGAIN..
I don't see this as ending up anyway other than D.
Oddly, W talked with me last week before she moved out asked me, " why does this have to be so nasty",, can we just make this about the kids and the finances,,? Can we forget or put aside about everthing that has haoppened between us from this morning backwards?"
Sounds like she doesnt want to have things disclosed in court (her current affair with her boss),,, I have things I'd prefer not be discussed but hers outweigh mine significantly...
She runs hot then cold, quiet and then pissy,, when will the fog end????
DD
H50 W44 M17 yrs S15 D11 D10 Bomb 4/09 Trial separation/moved out 9/09 Moved back in 12/29/09
I think that I've finally accepted the fact that this is ending, I don't even know if I would want to reconcile after the things the W has said and more importantly has done...
I have been feeling abandoned and betrayed but mostly feel sad for the children.. W has been telling "HER" version of what has happened and not taken any responsibility for her own behavior.
Case in point, I went to W apt and her girlfriend was there, I went to talk with my 2 daughters and the friend tells me," why don't you just go, cant you see you're scaring the kids? They are frightened of you..." So who knows what else the W has been saying except to make me out as a bad evil person...
I told the GF that she does not know me and has only spoken with me twice before and that she has been listening to the W side and taking that as truth,,,
Funny thing happened, I also told the GF the reason the W does not want to be with me is because she's been sleeping with her boss since March of last year.. The GF said "no she hasn't" and when I told her I had statements, records, etc proving this, the GF became quiet, eyes wide open and said she was going to be sick,,,, she ran to the bathroom and began vomiting! WTF
my first thought was Holy, Sh!t, the GF must have been with the boss too!!!! who knows...
Inlaws in town now,,they tell me they want to see me,,
DD
H50 W44 M17 yrs S15 D11 D10 Bomb 4/09 Trial separation/moved out 9/09 Moved back in 12/29/09
