Moving back in

[DDogs]

My question for the Panel here,,, Her Father, (intelligent, common sense, whom I admire and trust)wants to sit down with both of us to talk.... I am confident about affair between the W and OM.. Would a good approach to take be to say "if W doesn't disclose/acknowledge the affair, there is nothing for me to discuss" and then just leave?

It's a great question, DDogs. I would listen to him quietly, and respectfully. Be "the calmest guy at the table," so to speak. When he is finished, let your wife speak. Be a gentleman. If she says something rude or disrespectful, though, CALL HER ON IT -- calmly. If she LIES, let it go, doing nothing more than shaking your head -- for now, just until it's your turn.

When it's your turn to talk, yes, I think you should say "Dad (or whatever you call him), I have great respect for you, and I still love your daughter. I don't want a divorce. But I can look you in the eye here tonite an tell you that I've been giving this my best effort, and I can't do this if she is going to be involved with someone else, and refuse to tell ANY of us the truth about it. It pains me to say that, but I have never lied to you, and I never will, and I wouldn't be saying such a thing if I didn't have ironclad proof. A marriage takes two, working hard at it, and this simply can't be done as long as there's a third person in the marriage. I have told her that I'm willing to do whatever it takes, including addressing my own issues, but ONLY after she removes this other man from the equation. I won't be disrespected in my own home. I hope you can respect that."

And then let him talk.

Puppy

PDT..

WOW... Outstanding,, that is EXACTLY on the mark, powerful, factual, direct and sums up my feeling and emotions to the tee...

Thank you AGAIN, for your insight and input...DD