Allen, thanks for your thoughtful reply. I think you understand my questions very well. Although the different orientation shook me up, my I have more issues with the deception, and also the blame shoved over onto me. As for the kids, they are angry with him, especialy my teenage son. My daughter is slowly coming out of her shock of his leaving.
Every so often, I wake up in the middle of the night and start sweating about their safety with him. I know my children need their father, but occasionally worry I am being too naive.
My gut reaction is that he would never hurt them, because he loves them. But I've been wrong before -- my judgment of him for example. My counsellor's immediate reaction was concern for my son, then she seemed to alter that to a little worry about my daughter, but she advised keeping an eye on their moods,etc.
Counsellor also said he needed intense psychotherapy for years, but I doubt he'd admit there's anything much wrong with him. I still love my husband -- he has many good qualities and has been good to me in many ways. But he was also not very nice to me in many ways.
