When the ex came to pick up D3, she walked in the door and told D3 to go upstairs because she and I needed to talk.
She asked me what my message was about last night and I told her that with Lent coming up and her having D3 on Fridays it made me think about how we arent going to be going to get fish at places together and how she'd be doing that with other people. She told me if I wanted to take D3 to get fish one friday I could.
Of course she knew that wasnt what it was all about. I told her that wasnt what I meant...that all the holidays that are coming up and other special days and we wouldnt be doing them as a family (as in the three of us) but instead she and other people (as in OM) would be doing stuff with D3. I said that with all that's happened it really makes me appreciate what I had.
She respondede back saying "thats right...what you 'had'". She said that she had to drag me to all those things and I hated her family and stuff because they liked to smoke and drink. While she did have to drag me to some of those places and I wasnt pleased with how her family did things...I cant say I hated them.
I told her that people change and why is that so hard for her to believe? She came back saying that it takes a lot longer than two months for people to change. (Scientifically speaking, it takes 21 days for habits to be formed and broken...so change can happen in 2 months if not sooner).
And she still has the idea in her head that all I want is for her to instantaneously forgive and forget everything as if nothing ever happened and just come back home. Why cant she see that to reconcile can be a long process...and not like flipping a light switch? Why cant she see that to reconcile takes baby steps?
I honestly believe that she wants me to keep being the guy she left, because if I'm that guy then her leaving and staying gone is justified, whereas if I'm a good guy that has changed all the issues she had with me and then some, she looks like the bad one for leaving.
She said she was going to try and get D3 to take a nap today...and revealed the plans about the basketball game, though she said it is her dad, her dad's g/f, her and D3 that are going (which I dont believe...I think its gonna be her, OM, and D3). The game starts at 9PM and my daughter is 3...I'm sure she's going to get a lot out of it (sarcasm intended). Why would you take a 3 year old to a basketball game that didnt start until 9 at night when her bedtime since she was born has been 8PM or earlier?
At any rate, she threw the fact that I say she cheated on me with OM in my face along with her saying that I called her a name that I dont recall saying. She said she didnt cheat on me but I can think what I want. I told her cheating didnt have to be physical...and she said "we were just friends". She said she cant just forgive me for accusing her of that and calling her that name. I found that to be a little absurd...to think that someone who cheated could think the person they cheated on needs forgiveness for calling them out on it.
Then she asked me if I thought she cheated on me and I think she is the word she thinks I called her, "why in the hell would you want me back?"
And I told her that it was because I know that the sweet and caring girl I fell in love with is still inside her and I have seen her come out from time to time. That's when she called to D3 and told her to get ready to go. She said "I'm not gonna sit here and listen to your mushy BS".
She asked me a question and I gave her an honest answer...yet she calls it "mushy BS". What else could I have said? I was honest and that is why I said it. If I didnt think the old her was in there...I wouldnt wanna be with her ever again...because I despise who she's become.
At any rate her and D3 headed out the door as did I in a very angry mood. I came back to her car to tell D3 bye and that I'd see her tomorrow and I turned to my ex and said that things didnt have to be like this. She just got in her car and we all left.
I went to the gym and the ex called while I was there. I let it go. She then texted me and said "you said it doesnt have to be this way but what other way do you want it to be?".
I havent responded...because I dont know how to even respond to that. She knows what I want and telling her again isnt going to change things, it will only keep the back and forth going.
I mean really...if you wanted to work things out but you know it will take time...and she doesnt get that it doesnt have to be overnight...how would you respond?
She's just so closed minded and wishy-washy. She wants to be left alone but then says its ok to call and text...she says she cant forgive me for stuff that I dont need forgiven for anyway but then asks me how I want things to be...and she already knows my answer anyway.
