She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[Greek]

In June I was asked to deploy to Afghanistan. I asked my wife how she felt about this, and she thought it would be a good idea because it would give us time apart. I agreed to go on the deployment to give her space. Things were ok, but she was still in her shell. In August I left for training and everything seemed ok. I came back for two weeks in September, and she pretty much acted like I wasn't even there. In October I left for three more weeks of training. The previous two weeks weighed heavily on my mind, and we argued on the phone most of that time. Prior to leaving for Afghanistan I went home for a week. This week at home was fantastic. We did things together, wen't to lunch and dinner, movies, talked, and were intimate all week.

So she recommends YOU go to a WAR ZONE/THIRD WORLD COUNTRY...so she can have space? Ice cold.

Then I left for Afghanistan. As you can imagine being away from your family is difficult. I missed them very much and called and expressed that often. I'm a very insecure person who leans on his wife allot for support. I had the capability to call her anytime I wanted to, but she requested I call Wednesday, and web cam on Sunday. At first this was very difficult to follow. She was still very supportive to me even when I called out of cycle. Eventually she would get angry when I called and would even ignore me if it wasn't on our agreed days.

More ice, TBart. What's with all the control??

Sometime in December I questioned the fact that she had stopped saying she loved me anymore. At that time she informed me of some frustrations and changes she wanted me to make, and that she would consider leaving me if I didn't make them. I immediately stared making changes. I began talking to the chaplain regularly, reading self help books, web sites, forums, you name it i did it. My years of negativity turned positive.

Goodness. You heard her. Validated. Executed on changes. Good on you.

I did everything she asked me to do, and yet she still decided she wants out.

Hmmmmm.

she doesn't want me living in the house while we do it because of the tension it may cause for the kids.

Tension for HER.

unable to forgive.

Not unable ~ unwilling. This is a choice.

Now she says she's tired of me always using her as my crutch.

Well, that can change. You will GAL, be your own man and offer her PARTNERSHIP in the M.

I also hope that the reality of me being in Afghanistan in a war zone has helped do this to her. Hopefully once she sees me and can see the changes first hand, we'll be able to begin the marriage repair.

Don't believe in magic, Tbart. She won't magically "see". You will have to make the changes for yourself, be the man you want to be and let her "see" that and maybe she'll choose you again. You don't need to 'repair' your M. You need a New M.

Greek