Can't find resources I need?? Help!

[cat04]

I have no idea what to do next, I have just talked to him in small amounts.

This is good. Small short conversations lead to less chance of misinterpretation.

I want to put no pressure on him to go or not to go.

Just let him know he is welcome to join you. And don’t keep pushing the issue. If you have to buy a specific thing like a plane ticket, when the time comes, if you are still not certain if he is coming, then just say ok, I am purchasing ticket today. Should I get yours? Or something easy like that.

Unfortunately, you never can be certain what will make them feel pressure. The best thing you can do is be kind and welcoming.

I know he sees my changes, but I am afraid he just sees it has too big of a mountain to climb for us to ever be together again. And, like I said above, I don't know if I want to live wondering when the next bomb is gonna drop, as I have seen happen on here many times. I feel strongly that once he is completely out of MLC he would never do all he has done again, but I don't know if I will have any peace wondering if it will happen again, cause there are no gurantees, I can't live through all that pain again.

This is thinking way too far ahead right now IMO. Just take it one day at a time, see what evolves as if you are just meeting him for the first time.

I just hope he realizes that I am the one who has never given up on him, never stopped believing in him, etc. Will he see that for himself?

This is one of those things. Someday, hopefully, he will see it. If he is to, it will be on his own, not with prompting from you. Remember this is still his journey.