Hey ((Julia)), I'm sorry that you are still struggling with the emotions of getting D. The guilt to overcome that is very difficult (for both sides I imagine). I struggle w/that myself at times. It does not mean YOU are a failure (or myself for that matter). Through all of this I've come to realize, that 2 people, 2 minds, with emotions, thoughts & desires - well it takes A LOT of work, on both sides for them to stay together. I don't know, it's difficult for me to put into words - what I want to say. M is just not as easy & harmonious as we think or are led to believe. Now, if we M robots - maybe!
AS for myself, I am well. In Dec I lost my baby kitty of 17yrs. We fought her kidney disease for 11yrs. I do miss her, yet I am thankful for the time we spent together & in knowing she had a good life. Strange how I cried for her, but not for my xh or the loss of my M. No contact from my xh since Oct - but that's ok. (Shrug) - not much I can do about that. I'm focusing on what I need to change in myself & move forward. I am writing some poetry again & an old friend of mine has written me. We will see if he / we continue to write.
Good to hear you have found a possible home for Maple. And Congrats on your new job in Thailand!!!
Remember the happiness we will find is always hidden inside.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
