The sad thing is (I'm not saying this is true in her case, obviously) that there can be a massive amount of covert conflict without any honest forthright communication of same, at least "in front of the child". As I'm sure you're aware.
... My caution is, don't get married to any one theory (especially, out loud to her) about where the nest of her demons might reside ... for one thing, that can be a little bit too up in her mental/emotional business, but also it might blind you to other clues.
I hear you, and I agree. That's one reason why we're working with a C, and why I'm working so hard to trust the process - the determination of what's important and how to probe it is HIS job... MY (OUR) job is to work with him as best we can, and be open, forthright and honest in facing what we need to face. My expectation going in was that she would find it very difficult to face certain things, and would put up a lot of resistance, and this is indeed what I'm seeing. The thing that allows me to deal with the disappointment without coming unglued is the knowledge that in a couple of weeks we'll have another session, and another chance to deconstruct what's happening, and hopefully move closer to the truth. We've only had 2 sessions so far, so I'm being careful not to expect too much, and indeed what has come out so far is very encouraging. But the fact that she's willing to cheap-out on the first difficult task (no TV) is a sign that we have a long road ahead. Still, I'm keeping the faith, and doing what I can to work on myself and show her how much I love her. I will keep up the AOS faithfully, and without resentment, and with kindness and attentiveness, and hopefully my love for her will come through...
