I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[flowmom]

Flowmom -
You are right on. One of the things I identified in IC was I spend alot of time acting the way I THINK other people THINK I should be acting. Being formal is part of that issue - one I'm working very hard on

Yeah. I think I place a lot of value on "doing the right thing", which can translate into sounding like really formal. I like to think that I'm authentic with people, but maybe I'm not as authentic as I think I am? Wow, I didn't realize how hard it is for me to speak from the heart. I guess I know that my impulsive words have done a lot of damage over the years, so maybe my formality is an attempt to control that through my communication. But really I probably need to deal with my underlying feelings so that when I communicate impulsively and from the heart, I'm communicating things that are loving, not hurtful.

I think I - and maybe you too - feel like "formal" communication is unemotional communication. Since this sitch is SO emotional its my way of controlling that?

Yes, I think that control is part of it with me too.

Thanks for letting me ramble in your thread