well actually she (ow) told me she was engaged to wonderful man...she also mentioned this to H several years ago when he last had mutual contact with her... I have nothing to worry about from her...H is just as committed to this relationship that we have as I am...he seriously hates even having her brought up...not because he hates her but all that happened at that time...it was not a happy place for him even though at the time he tried to convince himself otherwise.
I am fine...he is fine...our family is fine...that is what matters
I think you handled the situation very well. Sometimes, things do pop up and we have to step back and assess them before going off half cocked on the spouse, i.e., just like this situation. You stepped back, thought about it and then advised your h of the situation. He didn't feel any pressure nor that you were accusing him of anything.
Great job!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.