Getting Un"Stuck" - Giving My Burden to God

[MrBond]

Thanks. It just burns me to think this @$$ is walking away scott-free while my M falls apart.

[pigskin]

You could always do it anonymously...telling his W, I mean.

I agree with telling his wife, anonymously if necessary. I think anyone would want to know if their spouse were cheating on them. Predators should have to experience the consequences of their actions.

I also second what Sandi said. You would only have leverage to bar your wife from the party if she were living with you. Since you guys are separate, do as best as you can with trying to put the whole thing out of your mind.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Thanks. It just burns me to think this @$$ is walking away scott-free

. . . so far . . .

[sandi2]

Thanks. It just burns me to think this @$$ is walking away scott-free

. . . so far . . .

Remember what the Bible says about vengence belonging to God. I don't believe anyone gets away with anything. You may never know about it, but he will reap what he has sown.

Another reason to not interfer with things right now is the fact God could be removing this man from your W's life and thereby helping her to be able to heal and get OM out of her system. You don't want to mess that up due to how this is causing you to feel. You've endured for a long time, just hang strong for a bit longer.

[MrBond]

thanks everyone. It's really a bad thing for me. Thanks for helping me through.

[pigskin]

Thanks. It just burns me to think this @$$ is walking away scott-free

. . . so far . . .

Remember what the Bible says about vengence belonging to God. I don't believe anyone gets away with anything. You may never know about it, but he will reap what he has sown.

Another reason to not interfer with things right now is the fact God could be removing this man from your W's life and thereby helping her to be able to heal and get OM out of her system. You don't want to mess that up due to how this is causing you to feel. You've endured for a long time, just hang strong for a bit longer.

I always think about the "vengeance is mine" passage from the bible when the OM comes to mind and I feel pride and ego trying to get the best of me. Everyone has to answer for their actions but it is not our place to dole out punishment. I do still think that the OM's wife should be told though. Not for vengeance, but out of concern.

Stuck Sandi may be right about God getting the OM out of your W's life. Since we all have free will, He can't change her mind for her but he can give her signs and help in other ways. It's up to her to recognize them. I feel the same thing about my W losing her job where the OM worked.

[MrBond]

Thanks pigskin. It's just that I've had my own needs put on a backburner for so long that I do get sick of it sometimes. I think we all do. I still get triggers of her and the OM (old man) working together, laughing and flirting. Not as much as when this first comes up, but they do come up.

Then I think of her talking to his W and planning this party and think that she's got some nerve to do this to her face.

So last night I called to talk to my Ds. My W starts with the small talk and I just end it. I told her that I might have to work on a Saturday that I have the girls (the same day as the OM's going away party) and asked if she could watch them if she didn't have plans. Just to see what her answer would be. She said no problem. So I don't know if she is going to the party or not. These mind movies are killin' me.

Oh well. I didn't mention to her anything about the OM's party. I even debated cancelling our Valentine's dinner together, but thought I'd be the bigger man and go ahead with it.

[pigskin]

Thanks pigskin. It's just that I've had my own needs put on a backburner for so long that I do get sick of it sometimes. I think we all do. I still get triggers of her and the OM (old man) working together, laughing and flirting. Not as much as when this first comes up, but they do come up.

Then I think of her talking to his W and planning this party and think that she's got some nerve to do this to her face.

So last night I called to talk to my Ds. My W starts with the small talk and I just end it. I told her that I might have to work on a Saturday that I have the girls (the same day as the OM's going away party) and asked if she could watch them if she didn't have plans. Just to see what her answer would be. She said no problem. So I don't know if she is going to the party or not. These mind movies are killin' me.

Oh well. I didn't mention to her anything about the OM's party. I even debated cancelling our Valentine's dinner together, but thought I'd be the bigger man and go ahead with it.

You Da Man, Stuck!

I know what you mean about WAW hubris. My W actually had me attend work events and a kiddie get together with the OM, his W and his family when they were in the early stages of all this going on. The OM even went out of his way to try to be buddy - buddy with me. On top of that, the OM and his family even attended a musical event that my W was in and that my family and even her mom and dad went to. Afterward there were all the introductions, mom/dad, this is OM and his wife, blah, blah, blah.

Thinking back on it now just makes me shake my head in incredulity. The chutzpah of them both...

[MrBond]

pigskin,

You're the bigger man for doing that! I would've cracked him a good one. Maybe I would have been arrested, but it would have been SOOO worth it.

[MrBond]

NEWSFLASH!

Well guess who popped into my working place. The OM! Evidently the person who I talked to about his going away party called him. So he freaked and got a friend to come and confront me at work.

They demanded to see my boss first. She wasn't in, so they came into my office on false pretenses and said that if I didn't stop "harassing" people they were going to get my fired! Evidently the OM's friend knows my boss. LOL.

They obviously didn't know much about my company. I told them go ahead and call my boss. In fact, I told them I would tell her for them. They seemed a little surprised that I was so open. One of my friends had come in and told them that she knew what was going on and that they had to leave. The OM got pissed and said "how do you know what's going on". Then I told he and his friend.
"well everyone knows what's going on." "I have nothing to hide but the truth, so everyone knows." I they were both a little shocked at my candor, but hey... it's the truth.

So after they left, I called her to say what had happened. She said the OM's friend was just an acquaintance and she always thought he was weird. So she said she had my back and was pissed that they actually came in to our working place, throwing her name around and threatened me. She called them right after to give them a piece of her mind. Ha!

Oh and the best part. The OM's friend is a pastor! I asked him if Jesus would approve me getting fired, and he just got angry. Oh well I guess Jesus is used only when it's convenient.

At one point in the conversation with them, I did get pissed because the OM's friend called my W delusional. I told him, don't f'n call my W delusional. She told me the truth. The OM demanded to know what she told me. So I told him. While I was telling him, I was watching his reaction. He never stopped me to say I was wrong or shook his head. So evidently it was true. Crazy I tell you.

Afterwards I did tell my W. I told her to watch her back at work because her ex-boss was nuts.

If there is one thing I would like others to pray for is for my W to not lose her job over this. I understand she should get some kind of consequence for her actions, but this was a little over the top. The guy was just an @$$. I even asked her how she could have had feelings for a guy who just threatened me. The first time he did it, she didn't believe me and there was no one around to prove it. Well now, my whole office saw what had happened.

Poor guy. I guess he's so old the Alzheimer's is kicking in. The paranoia must be getting to him. The real world really is stranger than fiction.

I do have to say that the reason I was so calm and nonchalant when dealing with @$$ #1 and his pastor buddy was from DBing. I got my balls back and I wasn't taking crap from anyone.

Plus with my newfound faith in God, I knew in my heart I was right and that gave me strength. So thanks to all!