because, I have a feeling that you would normally talk loudly or very effectively voice your opinions when H would do something you don't like. So, speak calmly and only when absolutely necessary. do not engage in any arguments or R talk. If HE starts them, then just listen, and say, I appreciate your honesty. and then go about your business.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I know ST - I plan on keep very cool. He has to notice a difference in me so I refuse to let him pull me in.
He came home after 9 last night so I went to bed before he got home. He is now sleeping on couch so I haven't seen or talked to him.
Keep praying for me ST - I know God listens to you!
oh btw - he text me yesterday to let me know he had a meeting and will be late. I wasn't going to respond then I thought I better acknowledge - so I said thanks for letting me know. When he came home late on Tuesday I kicked him out of the bed for the first time for not calling.
another day in the dark..
Last edited by luvless; 02/11/1002:19 PM.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
do not be discouraged, that will only defeat your purpose. Satan wants you to have that feeling so you will not succeed in restoring yourself or your M. don't let him.
Quote:
oh btw - he text me yesterday to let me know he had a meeting and will be late. I wasn't going to respond then I thought I better acknowledge - so I said thanks for letting me know. When he came home late on Tuesday I kicked him out of the bed for the first time for not calling.
very very good. this was a great decision on your part! we are dark, but we still want to encourage GOOD behavior.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I must say I don't get it (yeah yeah I know I'm not supposed to "get it") H came home on time and when he walked in kids were making dinner and he walked over to me and asked "are you eating dinner?" I said no (because I'm going to dinner w/friend) he didn't know that.
He was interacting with the kids. He didn't have his usual distant demeanor. He was actually talking to and at me a couple times. He has really been mean and avoiding me lately.
My friend came over (which he really likes) and we chatted for a minute before we left. When I came home he asked me, "where did you guys go?" NERVE! Here is this person asking me where I went we he has no accountability for what he does. I almost said "why do you care?" but I didn't. I just answered politely.
This morning I got up early (I have stopped getting up with him lately) and I started cleaning up. No real words to each other but did u want this coffee whatever....
At first I thought this weekend may get really bad but I won't let it! I am going to enjoy myself and not let him aggravate me. I'm really thinking about excluding him from our mutual friends' party tomorrow night - what do u guys think? I don't wanna start a fight but I don't think he should go.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
I am going to enjoy myself and not let him aggravate me.
Good, but I don't believe you.
Originally Posted By: luvless
I'm really thinking about excluding him from our mutual friends' party tomorrow night - what do u guys think? I don't wanna start a fight but I don't think he should go.
What is your goal? What is your purpose? What plan are you following?
Without knowing where you're going or the direction you're headed some answers you get with be counter-productive.
Where are your 3 things?
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
1 - going to visit my mom 2 - shopping for a new top for sat
My goal is to lose this fear! I want my M to work but I can't focus on that anymore. I am focusing on me. That is my plan. I am too confused right now and I want to get to a place where I don't feel confused.
Someone wake me up out of this nightmare.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
My friend came over (which he really likes) and we chatted for a minute before we left. When I came home he asked me, "where did you guys go?" NERVE! Here is this person asking me where I went we he has no accountability for what he does. I almost said "why do you care?" but I didn't. I just answered politely.
okay, this is where you are going wrong.
you WANT him to ask you!!! see, you are not in this as far as I was, my husband wanted NOTHING to do with me for quite some time. I was begging to even get just a look from him. and maybe that's why I was able to act so efficiently, I was in a crisis mode, and that's what you need to do.
so, yes, he is asking you, but you don't get to ask him, I know that seems unfair and rude of him, but you WANT him to be interested in what you are doing!!! that means you are going on the right path and doing the right things. When my H first said that to me, I was SOOOOO happy, because I knew I was getting his attention and he was starting to care what I was doing. and the more he was doing that, the more I knew it was working.
very good that you didn't say "why do you care" that would have been very unproductive. So, when you tell him what you did, you want to say something, but be vague, and then try to change the subject asap. you don't want to lie about it, but you want to be somewhat mysterious, and act like you had a great time!
keep going luv, and I know that you can do this, but keep making the right choices, and the right actions.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Ok ST - but I think you give my H a little too much credit. He really doesn't want anything to do with me and has been avoiding me these last two weeks. Well I guess that's what happens when you are texting ow your undying love huh?
I will keep being polite and somewhat distant. I don't feel close to him AT ALL so that will be easy.
He has really done some work on me. I hope he wakes up soon.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
