You saw my earlier post to see that you are her new BFF. Do you accept this role?. . . If you are not cool with that role, then decide what you need to do to change it. If I read your original post correctly, she has had at least two affairs. What did you do to ensure that they would never happen again.
No, I do not accept the role of BFF. I am here looking for advice as to what changes I need to make. I moved out because it seemed that we were done. The move was a step towards getting a life. Had we owned a home, I would not have left. Being that it is just an apartment, moving to a smaller place seemed like the best option for me.
Yes, this did happen before (same guy 15 years ago). Back then she made the decision to stay. We agreed to put it behind us, not discuss it, and move on with our lives. In retrospect, this was not a good plan. This time around it was an emotional affair - geographic distance prevented it from going physical. I decided to pursue marriage counseling rather than bury it (we are each seeing individual counselors now).
Based on some of the comments I have received so far, I am questioning whether or not moving out was the best choice. I do feel it has reduced the tension between us. I also think it provides enough space for me to get a life - while being close enough for her to notice. Am I wrong about this?
I have mentioned possibility moving back home and she didn't have a problem with it. In fact, she asked me not to leave. I told her I would not stay unless she agreed to put the divorce on hold and work on the marriage. Under my circumstances, would moving back be perceived as pursuing?
