Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

Hey DW,
I had just posted in C-bart's thread also and I will reiterate here. Last night I was so tore up with the entire thing and the negative impact it is having on the kids and I was getting pissed at her.

12 - 24 hours later and I am okay, my son is doing okay and life is moving on. What is funny is that my W is actually IMO starting to open up more, so the anger I was feeling last night was just continued fallout from a sitch that is going to take time no matter what happens.

D13 calmed down last night late and I am going to communicate with her therapist to find out better ques to give my D when she is experiencing frustration and anger. (Problem/my action/ solution) and I did not train wreck any progress my W has made.

S9 is going to be sad no matter what happens, I need to be his Rock so he can anchor on. If I want his sitch to have the possibility of his mom coming home then me going off on her is not going to aid in that no matter how right I am about what she is doing that is tearing apart the family. Patience I have. It is especially hard to have that patience when it comes to your children's pain. You want to make it go away instantly and almost anything I would say to my W would just prolong the pain for everyone. I am back in the "deep thoughts" mode here.

I went to the school this morning and my S9's teacher was more than receptive and accomodating to my request for him to be able to read another book, Done....no problem.

I am thinking about showing the book to my W though b/c last night S9 expressed concern that if mom started dating other men then that would mean in his mind that D is definitely going to happen and the wonderful book reinforces that conclusion. (I could go off on the books in our school systems but that would be inflamatory to say the least, will let that dog lay there)I was thinking of letting her read it and draw her own conclusions.

On the otherhand I could say nothing and see if he brings it up to her. Her major complaint about me right now is that I make her out to be the bad guy, which I don't do even though she is IMO the person responsible for the pain we are all in. My only concern here is that she will think that I told him about her dating other men.

Taking suggestions and any fresh cut lumber to the head if needed.