!Help! Need Advice and encouragement!

[stark648]

My wife has moved in with OM and keeps taking my 16yr old stepson over there almost every night. She took my youngest 10yr old daughter there once also when I was out of town.(disturbed my daughter and I griped at wife-has not happened again). She is adamant about divorce, but is trying to keep relationships with kids. Wife has a heart condition and thinks she is going to die soon. Dr. may give her pacemaker, but she may not even need that. I don't think she is going to die from her heart, except stress and guilt is hitting her hard. She doesn't even come in the house anymore to get kids.--honks horn in driveway for school, etc.
I can't stop thinking about her and the other guy. I am hopeful that in time their relationship will sour, but they were friends for years before this. (He and his wife were our friends) Her therapist is feeding her bad advice, I think. I've read DB and DR--trying, but could use some advice/support. I feel crazy. She wants to go back to school, but I am afraid she is going to get pregnant and mess that up again and I have told her that. I have cut off funds except for a small one she can use for dr's--(she has not used it for that yet, even). How can I detach and GAL --I have to take care of kids most of the time... The thought-stopping is not working on the sex thoughts I get stuck with!

Me:48
W:35
s:16
d:15
d:10

she moved out January and dropped bomb