You are doing ok, but your boundaries need some work. It seems like she is waffling, but you need to work on yourself. She is confused, conflicted, hurt, scared, etc, realize that and go dark. From everything I have read, there can be no chance of reconciliation until the A is over. I feel for you man, it is tough to deal with the constant lying. To me that is the biggest deal breaker, lack of trust.
