It's hard to let go it is. What's weird is through the years I thought I was happy and at times I was but since we've been separated I'm seeing what happy should look and feel like. The last 2 years especially everything revolved around him, everything. Getting him through treatment twice, taking care of everyting. Somewhere along the line I was lost to myself. Forgoet what it felt like to have someone hug me, hold my hand, tell me I looked nice. My self esteem has taken a large beating especially with the cheating too. I wasn't enough for you?
But funny things have happened....in the last month or so I've been given compliments from men like "you're stunning, you look amazing" things my husband in 12+ years never said to me. It's nice to hear these things....if your anyone, but especially if you've never heard them sure helps to re-build my self esteem. So little by little I'm realizing things can improve, the sun will shine again, and the future can be what I make it. I too long to be with someone but know that I need this time right now for me. To continue the work on me, so when the time does come and I pray that it does and I meet someone I will be in a wonderful place.
