Do not hold a mirror to her behaviour. Behave like a man. Be a man. Be strong and be civil. Do what is right. Even though it kills you at this time. As I said to you before our lives are very long. What your doing here is skipping some rocks in a pond. Problem is the water is choppy and you need to calm the water down until it is like a sheet of glass. Then you can start to skip the rocks again. Cause they don't bounce in the waves.
And if you have not done this in awhile. Go do a GAL and skip rocks in the water. Each rock is a problem. Toss it and see how many bounces it takes before it sinks to the bottom. Then notice the ripples and how long they take to disappear. Notice how far they travel and how they sometimes collide. Think of your problem or issue in that manor. Each bounce is a solution to the problem. And then go work on those problems.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Went to Police yesterday to go for RO for OM. Police looked at texts said that there's a large gap between them in which there was no action on OM's part to carry out threats- they said they would talk to him.
Sent W a text- letting her know how difficult it was for me to understand how a friendship w/ OM was more important than our friendship.
W reply- "its not more important, he's not a friend to me- he's immature and I told him he's a a$$hole."
I didn't bother to reply- naturally I wanted to use logic and facts to illustrate OM's effect on our R. She knows all of this, so it's not my job to mention it.
Otherwise, feeling pretty good. Planning on buying a laptop this weekend, then I won't be out of touch.
Lot's of GAL-ing this weekend, cleaning, a local festival (good food and friends), and prob a movie or two...and some new books!
Went to Police yesterday to go for RO for OM. Police looked at texts said that there's a large gap between them in which there was no action on OM's part to carry out threats- they said they would talk to him.
Sent W a text- letting her know how difficult it was for me to understand how a friendship w/ OM was more important than our friendship.
W reply- "its not more important, he's not a friend to me- he's immature and I told him he's a a$$hole."
I didn't bother to reply- naturally I wanted to use logic and facts to illustrate OM's effect on our R. She knows all of this, so it's not my job to mention it.
Otherwise, feeling pretty good. Planning on buying a laptop this weekend, then I won't be out of touch.
Lot's of GAL-ing this weekend, cleaning, a local festival (good food and friends), and prob a movie or two...and some new books!
And yet somehow she's attracted to him and continues to communicate with him, while you and your nice guy ways appear to get no attention...hmmmm.... methinks you need start following reality.
Stop pursuing, asking about texts is going to get you nowhere.
GAL the floors ... Or 180 them. From dirt to clean.... Its only a GAL if you never cleaned before.... And if you never did.... Correct that mistake for the rest of your life.
I do not know why you would send that text. Some thoughts are just that. Thoughts. Keep them to yourself.
Stay DIM. Let her contact you for the next 2 weeks. Only contact her if it is extremely important. Random thoughts are not important. Do you understand this? Actually I know you do know this. So a 180 for you is to do this. Do you have a list of what is extremely important to break the DIM ?
If not. Then a 180 for you would be to list this out on paper. And list out your replies to items from your wife on non-important items.
There you go. A couple of tasks.
I am going to review my lists as I have entered the land of the DIM as well with my STXW.
We can compare lists if you would like. See ya on the alt
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Still I should not initiate any of it- I have my answer for the moving- should take place sometime next week or the week after.
Like I said- and as you know- I def knew better. I was shaking since 2pm yest after I received his threats. Adrenaline, fury, disgust, etc.
Not my finest moment for sure; sometimes as I send I try to cxl the message immediately. You are right a good 180 for me would be to completly do what I know to do, and do not do what I know not to do.
W reply- "its not more important, he's not a friend to me- he's immature and I told him he's a a$$hole."
That's how she feels at that moment because he didn't do something she wanted... she'll change her tune again in an hour. Don't waste too much time on thinking about it.
When the ratio of displeasing:pleasing with OM grows to about 75:25 or maybe higher, that's when you can expect her to divert her attention elsewhere... maybe back towards you.
In the meantime you move on with your own direction.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
