Question

[awest1217]

Thanks. I guess I should think of this as the sprint before the end of the race. Who is going to win?

I did text H after I had church last night because I wanted to let him know that I did want to do something on V-day. I said I hoped he had a good night (I am sure he did because OW was there) and that about V-day, I would really like to do something. It doesn't have to be anything big, just something. Then I said I love you and good night. H responded hours later saying, i hope you sleep well. good night. i love you bunches xoxox. That was weird for him and even more loving, but now I know why. The reason I get the feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is up (I didn't really until last night. It was more of me being scared.) is because H is always super sweet when he has done something wrong. Extra loving when he normally isn't so I knew something was up.

I definitely don't want there to be a blow up, but I do need to say something and I would like more information. I might wait until at least Monday (unless the opportunity comes sooner). I really just need to watch my behavior and act as if. Hold my tongue and fake everything. I am not good at that because I am a very real person, but I will do what I gotta do. I think when I do bring up everything it will be under "are you planning on moving back in? and when?" I have plans the next few weekends, but they may have to change because after that, htere is only one weekend and he has to be out. He likes to be spontaneous, but this is going to need planning. We have a lot to talk about before he comes back so hopefully that can bring up other questions. With him, I am going to have to be direct because when i fish and he lies, it burns me up and then I can't hold it in adn tell him I what I know and he gets mad for me "fishing" and setting him up. So when I do say something, I will need to say "I know you had dinner with OW Thursday" and see where it goes.

On a side note, I am also scared about telling my support system everything. They know H has not made any changes when it comes to OW, and I am scared about telling them as well. They don't want me to compromise either. I just need to find the strength to say no in a loving way because honestly that is what it is going to come down to because I don't think he has told OW anything about us, and I know she won't stop and he won't "hurt her". Sad for me because it lets me know where I stand.