You have been getting some good advice from the other posters here. OK, what interpretation of obedience to God says you cannot be a man? That in order to stay married you have to have your balls busted? You are not choosing divorce. In your previous posts you say your W has been having lesbian affairs and kicked you out of the master bedroom - who's definition of an M is that? Seriously. So you cannot beat yourself up for failing to keep your promise to God. God never intended anyone to live the life of a meek little mouse.
I did everything I could to stay out of the divorce courts but in the end it was my H that walked. He is an alcoholic and had an extremely low sex drive. There were a lot of problems in the M. I got on these boards about six years ago and tried my utmost to do all the things suggested in DB and SSM. In the end it was his decision not to grow and his decision to walk. That is where your wife is at. You cannot change her but you can change yourself and you have a duty to change yourself.
One thing that helped me enormously was attending al-anon meetings. I would definitely suggest you do the same. You need to because your father was an alcoholic. You will be among people who have lived through the same situations who truly understand where you are coming from. Look up al-anon and find a local meeting. I think this is essential for you.
take care
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
