as i was leaving work to head to the dr appointment I was excited and told everyone on way out, this is it i will let everyone know in the am when this lil boy is coming out. i get thumbs up, call us, really making me feel as though people care.
in about ten days i will drive myself to hospital and leave with another little addition to my family. my d2 is excited since she says she's having a baby girl bear.
i'm trying to not let the negative feelings seep in. morally and marriage standpoint i'm tore up inside about doing this without h. what i wanted to have happen did not.
saturday is our anniversary, sunday is valentines day and then i give birth to our second child.
this person or thing that is my h and father of 2 of my children is a stranger nothing but a sperm donator at this point. my journey since he has left us in nov. has basically gone unchanged. did i fail at dbing? feel like it.
here i thought i would just keep on going during pregnancy and as each day grew closer to birth h would realize what he was doing, care and step up. nope what a false sense of hope i gave myself. it is me that is upset about the whole deal of birth and recovery after surgery.
what advice do dbers have for me now?
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
