I, like SSMGuy, have no desire to become just another statistic. And the statistic is one of failure, not success, though he (and I) might ultimately be happier without our current wives. It's just a matter of how you wish to go out.
I have a bit of trouble with that comment.
Getting divorced, leaving a relationship that is unhealthy does not make one a failure. I would argue living in a half marriage, that messes with your self esteem and leaves you questioning if you ever really deserved the blessings that a committed, fulfilling intimate relationship may offer is failing yourself.
Leaving a marriage is difficult and painful. Leaving a marriage can leave you feeling ashamed and worried that you might be jumping off a cliff without knowing what you’re going to land on … but living in a marriage that fails to fulfil either partner is a medieval concept for a time when marriages were about family alliances and economic security.
I do not advocate divorce. Far from it – I believe we should all use all the skills and resources at our disposal to change ourselves sufficiently to be fulfilled in our partnerships … but having said that – if only one of you are interested in fixing what’s wrong with the relationship you’re immediately compromised by the choices your partner makes. That’s not OK. It’s toxic and it diminishes us.
I for one would prefer to live alone, honestly and sincerely taking responsibility for my own choices than stay in a marriage because I don’t want to be a statistic …. We’re all statistics … married or otherwise.
