I actually have started down this thought route because I recognized what a toll it is taking on me physically and mentally.
Every time my son states "daddy and OW" went to the park etc. is a punch in the gut. (I can take it if I have too but I guess you can only get hit so much before you hit back?) Then I go out with H, pretend nothing is wrong and have a fantastic time.
I called the counselor after hitting my head on the cabinet and then screaming "I hate your guts, you are a F**$cking whore" - to the cabinet mind you. I have since apologized as my cabinet has never done anything except dutifully hold my Honey Nut Chex.
I recognized that I really cannot have this in my life as it is not good for me - but also know that my son coming from a broken home is also not ideal and stressful too for life. Thank you very much for sharing your experience as I decide what I should do.
