Just before we sat to eat I told her I was going out with few work people. W said really,good. W asked where and I told her a place.
Next time, you say 'I'm going out'. You don't say with whom or where. The idea is to be vague enough that W fills in the blanks. If W is unwilling to be in M + W is unwilling to work on M = W has no right to your whereabouts.
Originally Posted By: cesco
Came home watched some tv and w is on FB. Again. I snuck in and noticed her chatting with 2 of the guys from work. She didn't hide it and I asked to readit. I think I got there too early as there wasn't much. W tells me to relax. I took a deep breath left the room. I thought about what to say and went back. I told her " so your having a chats with 2 guys now !!!
No, you don't ask to read it. You act as if you don't care. You don't comment on it. Perhaps you just shrug, as if it is so inconsequential to you, and leave the room.
Originally Posted By: cesco
She shut down FB and joined me intv room. She was pissed. I ased her why. She tells me she is not. I pushed till I got that she was upset because she feels she can't do anything without being watched. I told her the reason I acted the way I did is because ifeel disrespected in my own home when you talk to other men like that. I tell her that if it was me chatting with other women you would feel the same way. I also told her I don't care if you get mad at me for saying this but it's how I feel I then repeated I don't want to be disrespected because I don't disrespect you. We where watching Greys anatomy and I tried to put the happy face on. I probably should have left the room. I know I screwed up somewhere. Your constructive comments are welcome.
If W is angry, perhaps W should don her big gal drawers and tell you why. When you ask W what the prob is, it is seen [by her] as pushy and pursuing. If W is cold/angry but passive about expressing it [i.e., vocalizing], perhaps go to diff. area of house. It sounds like [again, to me] W is trying to bait you into a fight. And then you become the jerk who ALWAYS wants to fight and W is totally justified in her behaviour w/OM, and desire to end M.
As to OM, see Gucci and Puppy's posts about setting down boundaries. They have explained it very clearly. This will help you.
You should not reward your wife w/any sort of pursuing behaviour ESPECIALLY as she interacts w/OM in your home. Shut her down, plant the seed of doubt in her mind. Show her that you aren't going to wait patiently for her to get tired of OM and then maybe, when that's out of her system, come back to you. [/quote]
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
