Running out of time.

[Lotus]

Go ahead and ask. You may get it back, you may not. No reason you can't ask.

[nikblondiew]

I definitely would ask.......if it were me I'd give it back.

[Cie la vie]

Lotus and NBW,

Thank you for your response. It seems unananimous with the notable exception of my Mother.

I'm waffling on when I should ask before the D is final or after. I guess my thinking is asking before would reinforce my W desire to end it which doesn't appear to need much reinforcement but asking after may make it harder to retieve. Os so I think. I just don't know.

[LolaL]

Get it back.

[Cadet]

Can't that be part of the D agreement

[nikblondiew]

OldPilot raises a great point! If it were me - make it part of the agreement.

[dwinter82]

I was going to say the same thing...make it part of the agreement. However, I do not know your W, but if you think she would give it back simply by asking (and explaining why), then I would try that approach first.

Timing and her mood might be important considerations here...

[Cie la vie]

DW & OP,

I think she would. She has always loved it however.

The problem I see with introducing the ring into the settlement agreement is she might use it to get something in exchange.

How and when I couch it could be critical.

The W is off tomorrow for a valentine's weekend with OM1, I'm thinking of asking her a day or two after her return. I'll keep you posted on what happens.

[ClingingToHope]

My W's wedding ring belonged to my grandmother. In fact, if it wasn't for that damn ring I might not have gotten married. I was making all of $8 an hour when I was dating W. She was making $32,000 a year, but back then she didn't care about money, only me.... Sigh ... Reverie moment.

Anyway, my mom loved W and wanted me to marry her. She asked what I was waiting for. I told her I couldn't even afford a wedding ring at what I was making.

She told me I could have grandmother's ring. It's a beauty. A $4,000 job.

That really was the first time marriage entered into my thinking.

Anyway, a month later, on Valentine's Day for Christ's sake, I asked her and she said yes. Great, great, great night. Did I mention it was a great night.

Anyway. Three weeks ago when we had our sitdown to try to work out an amicable agreement, I asked her for the ring back because it was a family heirloom. I thought she might try to negotiate with it. She simply said yes, I was going to bring it today, but I forgot.

So yes, I'd ask. Typically rings are considered gifts, but W is acting as if she's so turned the page, she has no sentimental attachment to anything. She'd rather erase everything.

So in a perverse way, it hurt like hell that it was so easy.

[Cie la vie]

So yes, I'd ask. Typically rings are considered gifts, but W is acting as if she's so turned the page, she has no sentimental attachment to anything. She'd rather erase everything.

I'd would be mildly surprised if she resisted returning it. But you never know. My W seems to be in the same frame of mind yours is with having turned the page. All sentimentality has been wiped clean from her brain as far as I can tell. One of her comments shortly after dropping the bomb was "I've closed this chapter in my life". She has also affectively erased any good memories of our relationship/marriage from her mind as well. She simply has not acknowledge a single good time we ever had. Strange.

So in a perverse way, it hurt like hell that it was so easy.

I know what you mean, everthing seems so easy and casual when it comes to discarding the marriage and anything to do with it. The complete lack of emotion seems so inhuman. I am not capable of such behavior. It sends a chill through me to be on the receiving end of such casual indifference.