Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

More pain for both my kids tonight and I have to deal with it. I was pretty angry a little earlier but kept it in the road which is good, I have been wheening myself off (Dr. Psych. approved) of a medication that helps me take a pause before react. I have not taken a half pill in 3 days. I was down from a full pill everyday to half everyday to half every other and the last I had was 3 days ago. This is one of the positives for me tonight.

I am proud of how I have handled both situations tonight, I am feeling more in control but I still have some serious crap to deal with on my plate.

My W had my S9 for dinner tonight and when she brought him home they came in the through the garage. D13 and I were sitting in kitchen, and earlier my D asked me twice if mom was coming in the house when she drops S9 off. I said no. Well I caught my wife in the laundry room and had to tell her not to come in b/c D13 was in the kitchen. My W and I need to talk about the logistics of the next 2 days for S9 to see her and spend the night with her, so I closed the laundry room door behind me and talked to W for 3-4 minutes. She left, (I did compliment her on perfume she had on, she smiled and thanked me.)

Came back in and D13 started quizing me quite disrespectfully about; Why was she here? Why was she in the house? She doesn't deserve to be in this house, she chose to leave, she can't come here any more!! etc. etc. (S9 is on the couch, tired and also sad, I can tell) I get S9 to go upstairs to get ready for bed. I sat down with D and told her she had every right to be mad but she needed to get the anger out more constructively or use some of the techniques that therapist suggested. D13 is still pissed and kept on "telling me" that she can't come over here anymore. I had to get firm with her but not angry myself and let her know that mom is going to have to be here from time to time b/c of S9 and also I will determine who can and can't be in the house. I did not go much further with my D13 b/c of the subject and she is still mad but is respecting me which is good.

Second problem with my S9 is a book that he is having to read in school called "Amber Brown Wants Extra Credit" about a girl that is dealing with parents being divorced and you guessed it.....her mom is dating another man. My S9 is very upset about having to read this book, he is scared that his mom is going to do that. Wow, I am wanting to pick up the phone and call my W and rip her a new one, ready to go into the school and cut loose on my son's teacher (I am going in tomorrow morning to have a discussion). I told him that I don't know what is going to happen with Mom and Dad but he will still be in his house and have his friends and he will still go to his school, and that both of us love him no matter what and he does not have to read this book anymore.

Sorry this post is going on forever.

He is very upset and as I type this he is asleep on the couch b/c he wants to be close to me. My D13 is up in her bedroom madder than a wet hornet, and I am trying not to react in the wrong way or at all. I feel like my family is being ripped to shreds by my W and I want to tell her what she is doing.

My other concern here is that my S9 is going to quiz my W on her dating other men and she is going to think that I told him about her behavior. I did not say anything to him but now that he has read part of this book is he going to start to put it all together and also is he going to ask my D13 about whether or not mom is "dating"?

THIS IS WHERE I NEED THE FEEDBACK, I HOPE SOME OF YOU MAKE IT THIS FAR ON THIS POST.

Do I talk to my W about the book?
Do I tell her how I am feeling?
Do I tell my D13 about the book and ask her to lie to S9 if he asks about Mom. (He is well aware that D13 hates Mom but does not know why and he wants to know)
I am not upset anymore but do I tell W that I am not sheilding her bad decisions anymore.
I am trying to be her friend and or be friendly but this issue brings up the whole effing thing. I can be friendly but I don't know how friendly I can be about her dating other men and talking to her about it.