Not sure which way to go anymore

[Mystik]

Thanks for all the posts and hugs. Every day is a struggle, but I somehow make it through.

Stuck, I never thought of it in quite that way. It is a tantrum of sorts and if I help pay then he can say I agreed to it and not have the guilt. Which I most certainly do not. He already is playing that game with the separation, saying because I found an apartment first that pushed him to actually leave. I did pay part of the cost for the separation, but that money actually came from the sale of our home which H then gave me half of what was left after paying the fees for the separation.

He comes over to spend time with DS, usually he takes DS to his place and I only see him at the exchange time, but his car isn't running quite right so he doesn't feel comfortable driving DS in it at the moment. And I sure as heck am not driving DS to his place. It certainly is not a common occurrence for him to spend his visitation at my place, only when DS is sick or in emergencies such as his car randomly dying on him will he spend the evening here.

I am having a hard time reconciling myself with not thinking of him as my H anymore. It's a role he hasn't filled in a long time, but I still think of him that way. I do need to work harder at staying as dark as I can in all aspects that do not relate to DS. And even in interactions that relate to DS, stick to the facts and keep it short and simple.