Not sure if this qualifies as piecing or not...

[TrentC]

OK, I promised an update.

When she found my text messages Monday afternoon (I texted her about the Dr. appointment), she started calling me. She called about 15 times; I let them go to voice mail. She texted me; I didn't read it. Then she (presumably) got on the plane, because all communication stopped.

When she got home, I wasn't there. I had planned to spend a couple of days away from the house to give her time to stew. She told me that she spent most of the plane ride home and the trip back to the house crying.

She sent me an email Monday night. In it she admitted that she spent the weekend with the OM. She claims she was going to fly out standby to visit her brother in Arizona, but she changed her mind and stayed with him instead. She said she was going to tell me when she got home, but given that I found out on my own, there's no way to prove that. She said that she felt it was a mistake, and that she wanted to work on things with me.

She said she knows that I can't and shouldn't trust her. I agreed, but I told her that we both have trust issues to overcome.

As for the call from the doctor, she was as shocked as I was. She didn't get the diagnosis from the doctor, only his medical assistant; she either misunderstood what she was told or was told something incorrect. When I left my message, she called the doctor and got the same story I did.

I was hoping that she would go with me to MC last night, but she did not. That's OK; we talked about codependency -- both mine and hers, but mostly mine. The MC actually used the term "codependent as hell" to describe the two of us.

She agreed to go to Retrouvaille with me this weekend, and called to confirm on Tuesday. So keep good thoughts out for us this weekend.

The past day or two have been kinda quiet. I've had GAL stuff to do -- mostly counseling -- but I will be home tonight, and we're off to the retreat tomorrow night. At the advice of the DB coach and my therapist, I've been giving her space to think and making it clear that I was doing the same thing. I slept really well the past couple of nights -- I don't think I woke up once all night.