The Quickest Divorce on record--was it a mistake?

[elscotto]

Hmm you raise good points. I know I am being juvenile but she came back to me with a list of 30 or so items that she had labeled "marital property" meaning stuff she felt like should be split up or she should be compensated for. Things like a 10 year old weedeater and my toolbox, and a lawn edger and so forth. I don't feel like I should have to buy those things twice. Its not a huge amount of money that she wants--originally it was 13k and then I went through and assigned realistic values to a lot of it based on ebay and craigslist documentation I got it down to 3k or so and then started moving stuff to the "you take it if its worth that much" column for her. I hate the idea of her wanting some of the stuff and me knowing that she wants it because its something she wants to do with the OM--e.g. she wants a bike carrier. I am the only one thats used the carrier in 5 years--it so happens that the OM is in to bike riding. Phew I say--let them buy their own.

Why is she bothering with this stuff? She isn't a millionaire but she isn't far from it either in terms of assets and investments. I want to tell her that if she agrees to split the jewelry she got over the years from me and pay me bacck for the trip last summer to Asia then I'll consider it. So part of me wants to give it to her and tell her to please go away and part of me wants to say "no, on principle alone I am not comfortable with this" but I don't want to destroy as Bill puts it--this woman is going to be my kid's mom forever no matter if our marriage is finished or not.

Even though I have no legal right to do it I asked her to limit the time the OM spends around my boys. I don't want him ever being in a position of respect, authority, or friendship with them. He was instrumental in the role of turning their lives upside down. She has pretty much thumbed her nose at that by having little "get togethers" at her house of which he is a part and of course he stays late and is the last to leave after all the other guests have left.

It is right that I shouldn't worry about what she is doing and I don't for the most part unless it involves my kids then I go crazy. I don't ask to know --the kids just tell me such as "X, and Y, and Z, and W," came over the other night and they stayed really late and X didn't leave until 3 am....

I am dating other women, good looking, a good job, I work out and am in good physical condition. I don't have a life that sucks. I leave tomorrow AM to go to Scottsdale with a beautiful woman for the weekend and probably won't give the X a second thought throughout the weekend.