Some of the great things about traveling the marital crisis roller coaster...
We become better than we were.
We find abilities we didn't know we had.
We find ways to handle problems that we never considered.
We learn powerful things - like sometimes things need to be left alone to heal.
When we first get here, we tend to pick at scabs. Every time something starts to heal, we seem to get an itch and next thing you know, we're scratching again.
I understand your struggle. I think it's very much a male thing to see a problem, make a plan to fix it, and want to immediately implement the plan and get it fixed.
Thing is, our marriage is not a leaky pipe.
It's more like a bad burn, I think. It needs to be left alone for the most part. There are some simple things you can do to treat it, all of them very gentle. But mostly it needs time to heal. And we need to make sure to keep the burn away from any more flames.
You can't alpha male your way to resolution on this one. It calls for much more finesse, not something we guys are typically real strong at.
Time. Patience. Focus on the things you CAN change (read that "YOU") and find a way to keep yourself level, focused, and strong when faced with the chaos.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
