Met H at home for lunch today. Had S & then I asked him what was going on. He said that he has started having panic attacks. (He initially started having panic attacks way back when he cheated on me the first time).
I asked if there was someone else & said no. I know, cheater's lie. I don't know if I believe it or not.
I don't know if all of this is just about him being worried about his health or not. His blood pressure was really high the other day.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Question: Is initiating S considered pursuing as long as you aren't doing it in a desperate manner?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Now he's out at the pawn shop trying to sell his shot gun. Says he just wants some extra cash to pay off the credit cards.
He did this last time -- started getting finances in line to leave.
Bad thing is, if he is cheating again, it's a deal breaker. He KNOWS this. That's the thing. I will NOT be disrespected by him cheating on me again. It's just happened too many times before and he knows if he does it again, I will not be able to try to save our M.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
oh hon))))))))) my dear red, how I hate to think you have that horrible uneasy feeling in your heart, grrr... do you have access to his online account for his cell? that's how I found out one time, online it shows all phone numbers called and frequency, you need his cell number, verizon sends a txt asking for a code, don't know about the others.
Does he take any medication for the panic attacks, sees any dr? a tiny part of me is thinking perhaps it might be medical, but just like your H, ex used to only have those when he was cheating on me. Hugs hon, will pray for you and hope you find out what's going on.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Bad thing is, if he is cheating again, it's a deal breaker. He KNOWS this. That's the thing. I will NOT be disrespected by him cheating on me again. It's just happened too many times before and he knows if he does it again, I will not be able to try to save our M.
Hi Red,
Sorry that you are going thru this.
This stands way, way, way out. How many times has this happened prior?
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
