OH EB - we have made a lot of strides. I do see the progress. THank you. I must say the MC is what is turning this all around - of course accompanied by all the work I've done here to stay calm and set boundaries.
This week I am concerned with H's anger. I am working hard on my part = things I do, situations, topics, that set him off. STaying calm myself. ODP. Being careful with my words and my tone. But realizing how scary it is for S and I. Sometimes I wish I lived in a state where I could get more custody. I would really have to fight in court to get more than 50% custody.
I'm tired of his constant criticisms and yelling. At both me and S. However, from reading my last thread, I can see that he is gaining more awareness and self control, if slowly. That gives me hope. I just want him to be nice! In the meantime, I worry how S and I are going to be treated - that eggshell walking.
Luckily, even though he technically "has" S 50% per our Legal Separation AGreement, as an at home mother I have S most of the time. H has backed out of weekends almost completely which would have infuriated me in the past, but now I'm relieved. I know S will have a more stable time with me and I enjoy being with him. I don't trust his father to stay calm.
The MC is bringing up that it matters HOW H talks to me. He is trying to get him to see how the anger and resentment is seething through. It is just the crucial issue for me. I need H to work on being polite and with a considerate, calm tone with both S and I. He is quite defenisve right now about it, but I do see him trying - more than in my early thread!
But, its my main goal. Not just "getting him back". But getting back a man who puts kind words and tones as a priority because it matters how his wife and child feel. If he can't get this, I will have to D, for my own sake. I will half to limit H's time with S until he can be more trustworthy emotionally. It's all so messed up.
I always get nervous before H shows up - it's his night tonight. I'm going to another rehearsal, so I hope H is ok with S.
