Trying to move on

[ClingingToHope]

Just be careful what you ask. You have to be prepared for the answer. I cannot tell you how many times I asked the SG if he loved me, only to hear him say no. I eventually learned to stop asking.

I put the 48-hour rule into affect and did not text, call or email last night.

Instead, I started reading through my sitch page by page and it helped me feel better. I have come a long way. I'm trying to become "excited" about being free.

My girls are so great. I hope not to have to do it again, but they comforted me last night. It's just going to hurt so much not being able to be there for them every day.

But at least I have the flexible job where I can see them off the bus every day and pick them up from camp in the summer.

I was doing the math today. I see the girls every day after school and have them every Wednesday night. That means I get to spend at least an hour with them 195 days a year and 58 of those are overnights with every other Friday.

I have them every other weekend. That's another 52 overnights.

I have four weeks of vacation and take them all four. That's another 20 nights. She takes them for two and the other three or four -- depending on school starting -- I get them at least on Wednesdays and the alternate Friday. That's another six overnights.

So I'll see them 265 days a year and 136 of those are overnights. That doesn't count additional nights when W has to work late or summer days where I pick them up from camp.

The key will be making sure I have enough of an income to do things with them other than walking to the park -- although I love that as well.