You claim you love this woman with all your heart yet you are suspicious of her every move, you are rude to her and you seem to go out of your way to make things worse.
NONE OF THAT IS EVEN CLOSE TO DETACHING.
Failing to use decent phone manners makes you a jackass, not detached.
Being detached means your partner's behavior has no positive or negative impact on your life AT ALL.
Time after time in your thread you have said "who is there for me?". Well, you are. Plain and simple.
If you would go dark but remain polite and civil, stop obsessing and chattering about your partner, *really* work on you and stop trying to find a way to "win" your W back then you would not have to worry about what she is planning as you won't be involved.
You and your partner both have LOTS of growing up to do. Neither of you know how to self soothe or stand on your own two feet. Your partner has proven that by involving herself in an "exit affair" and you have proven that by clinging on to your partner despite all the toxicity in the R.
Right now your partner simply cannot exist in your mind as a partner. She must exist as a co-parent and I am not even certain you remotely understand what that means.
Every decision you make (getting food, clearing the driveway, not being civil on the telephone) does not need to be some grand *thing*.
I am sorry but this entire situation is nuts. You and your partner are playing a game and you both know it. You want the game to end then STOP. Go dark, really learn about detachment, work on you FOR REAL and stop all this BS.
You do not have the tools to exist in a healthy R. You are being blessed beyond belief to have so many people trying to help you obtain the tools. Take it or leave it. Don't mask "self improvement" though as a mere tactic to get your partner back.
