"forcing my way back into our apt brings the biggest risk of sending her over the edge and straight to filing for the divorce."
Your perspective is all wrong. You are not "forcing" your way back into the apt. You are just going back to a place that is YOURS.
So let's see. You acting like a doormat allowing her to wipe her dog-crapped shoes on you is working so well right now. You can't even get YOUR mail. Like it says in DB. If something doesn't work, do something different.
The only conflict you are creating is in your head. YES she will get angry. YES she will throw a tantrum. YES she will hate your guts. How is that any different than now? The only difference is that she feels that way and you have nothing!
Why on earth would you CHOOSE continue to be abused? I know you don't want to rock the boat, but we've all been there. My W is only 5 feet tall, yet I was terrified of her mood swings. Now when she starts up, I simply put my hand up and tell her that she has to deal with the consequences of what she's done and walk away. She's wayyyy nicer afterwards. She learned how to respect me again. You need to do the same.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
