Trying to move on

[Cie la vie]

CTH,

I wonder if any of this runs through W's head?

I asked myself the same question to often about what my W is thinking and I've concluded it is self torture.

I really just want to go over there and say, it's me. The one you committed to love forever. We've made it through our parents deaths, D7's ADHD struggles, a flood, work troubles, friend troubles. I'm still here and I want to be your best friend. I've always wanted to be your best friend, I just struggle with how to do that. Help me. Tell me what you need because I need you more than you need me.

I know where you are coming from here. We are down to two more mediation sessions and our settlement should be hashed out. I sit in these sessions with the W across the table from me wondering if there is any part of her wishing this wasn't happening. Unfortunately I don't think so.

So asking her what you are considering asking your W above and pretty much knowing I won't get the response I want keeps me from doing it. I think the let down would be to much. Yet I also feel not asking isn't giving myself that last chance. What's the right answer? Hell I don't know.