Can't find resources I need?? Help!

[Augtan]

Thanks so much! I will read all those tonight when I get home from work. I have no expectations at all. All I would really like to see happen is for us to get along for the kids and for him to come back into the kids lives as much as possible. We had a long talk on Sunday, when he finally told me that OW was out of the picture (I had known for weeks, but he didn't tell me till Sunday).

He is still hung up on what the OW did and who she really is, he knows now, but he has to take the time needed to accept it. I told him he needs to be alone and really decide what he wants in his life, but I am his friend and always will be. Since then, he has called and asked to talk to me when he was done with the kids. It has been friend type stuff, which is where I want to begin! It is harder since he lives 700 miles away. D17 is down there with him right now and said he seems more "normal, like he use to be". She said it seems like a weight has been lifted since the OW is gone! I am sure that is true, but he is drinking more by his own admission.

All I plan to have now is patience all while continuing to work on myself and going about my life. I'm not sure what will hurt most in the long run..if he never wants to come back or if he does and I can't do it because of all the lies, cheating, pain, etc. that he caused me and the kids. I am taking it one day at a time and going to read all this. I have forgiven him to some level, but still working on that, just not sure even with forgivness I would want him in my life as a boyfriend/H again.

Thanks again everyone!

A