I think the lack of emotion comes from the fact that:
1) I was told in early January that she wanted a "hall pass" to seek a night of sex outside of our relationship. 2) A few days later, I found out that this night of sex was going to be with someone that she knew from her past and they were in the process of rekindling their relationship. 3) We went through a tough stretch between 1/25 and 2/5 where we talked, fought, discussed, used logic, used emotion - all leading to the point on 2/5 where she was able to redefine our relationship in her mind as friends. 4) Last weekend were decent days with me focused on, "if I do what I need to do, this will all work out fine"
I began posting here on 2/8.
5) Tuesday we saw the MC and was told to go work on ourselves for ourselves with the hope that next month when we meet with the marriage counselor, the marriage would have more to add to the discussion. 6) Wednesday was a great day - but I still woke up this morning wondering why she is able to have her cake and eat it to and I get no quarter in return.
I think the reason why I am emotionally detached right now is because I see a woman who has already moved on with her life. I could get emotional about it, I could rant, I could write how she is so unfair - but in the end, my tasks remain the same.
The biggest help I received in this whole process was the understanding that I will be unable to detach if I continue to pursue her in a co-dependent light.
This morning I realized that is exactly what I was doing and owed better for myself and my son.
I think you would have seen a lot more emotion had I began writing 2-3 weeks ago but now my future is more clear than it was ever before.
My wife lost the emotional fire because she came to the realization on 2/5 that this is about her, not me, not us.
