Entering dangerous new territory....

[Cie la vie]

This is classic and oh so true.

Easy times make us round.

[bradley11]

Here's my problem

I generally deal with things in life in a linear way. A-B-C--

Problem in front of me-- deal with it until it is fixed.

And I can handle any problem in front of me that I can tackle.

This problem I cannot handle head on-- and it is hard to move on to other things while it stands before me... I long for resolution so I can move on with my life. Thus this problem is so difficult to deal with...

I generally only have one burner on the stove-- I'm not good at multitasking...

[rr22]

Sorry if the lying topic is a thread hijack.

Everyone's insight on that topic helps me and gives me some good things to think about. I have never dealt with lying before in adults or among my friends. Thanks.

[smith18]

Here is a t-shirt that all MLC'ers should wear...

http://www.80stees.com/products/Not-A-Lie-Seinfled-T-shirt.asp

[trustingfaith]

Kerry, how perfect! It is soooooo tempting to give that as a gift to someone I know. BUT I will refrain.:)

[Bworl]

Some of the great things about traveling the marital crisis roller coaster...

We become better than we were.

We find abilities we didn't know we had.

We find ways to handle problems that we never considered.

We learn powerful things - like sometimes things need to be left alone to heal.


When we first get here, we tend to pick at scabs. Every time something starts to heal, we seem to get an itch and next thing you know, we're scratching again.


I understand your struggle. I think it's very much a male thing to see a problem, make a plan to fix it, and want to immediately implement the plan and get it fixed.


Thing is, our marriage is not a leaky pipe.


It's more like a bad burn, I think. It needs to be left alone for the most part. There are some simple things you can do to treat it, all of them very gentle. But mostly it needs time to heal. And we need to make sure to keep the burn away from any more flames.


You can't alpha male your way to resolution on this one. It calls for much more finesse, not something we guys are typically real strong at.


Time. Patience. Focus on the things you CAN change (read that "YOU") and find a way to keep yourself level, focused, and strong when faced with the chaos.



Blessings,

Bill