Don't sweat the language as hard as that is to do. I went ballistic when I saw the line about "repeated and extreme mental cruelty" which XW admitted wasn't true but was just a way to get around the mandatory two year waiting period in my state. She offered to take it out if I agreed to waive the waiting period. I refused. Interestingly enough, the final decree didn't include it.
Even though you don't want this, you are far from powerless in this situation. Don't let her bully or intimidate you into something you don't want to do. Sometime's glimpes of the reality of what things are going to be like post-D is enough to wake them up.
Standard advice around these here parts:
YOU work on standing for your marriage. Leave divorce up to the lawyers.
But lawyer up, cowboy.
Good luck.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
