I would have expected a reply informing me at that point of her intention to limit texts because of money concerns. NOT when I ask her why she isn't replying ten hours later.
So you have a expectation that she will inform you in the manner in which you expect or it is bad behavior on her part. Does she know about this rule you have or is it just expected? She must read your mind?
If somebody gives me something I say 'Thank you'. Some things are simple and I expect anybody with manners to know these rules.
Not looking for a wrong or right, looking to how communication can be improved. FACT I'm damn sure I need to improve mine FACT but all these people making excuses for my ex-wife ignoring my texts like a child are missing the point. ASSUMPTION SHE needs to learn to communicate properly as well.OBSERVATION You're all used to doing anything to get your spouses back on this board. ASSUMPTION I'm not prepared to put up with bad behaviour from her. CHOICE
Know what your goals and boundaries are and share them so upsets like this don't occur.
Once again.. this is about you learning to be the man you're meant to be.
Just wanted some feedback on whether her behaviour is rude.
Nope, that's not what you asked for:
Quote:
Communication was a major problem in our relationship with what seemed to me like tiny irrelevant things exploding into massive arguments. I think I have a perfect example here in a text message conversation. I would love people to have a look and honestly tell me, is it me or is it her - or perhaps both?
You obviously DON'T want people to tell you honestly what we plainly see as your communication problem, so I'm not really sure why you asked for something that you clearly don't want.
- Puppy, who's well-known around these parts for being SO excusing of WASs
I'm not trying to win her back because I don't really care how it goes.
Then you seem to be putting a lot of energy into something you don't care about.
Quote:
You lot seem to think it's fine because you're all doing anything to get your ex back whereas I'm not.
LMAO I don't think any of the people posting to you would do anything to get S back, I know I wouldn't.
Just curious what was the text she "ignored" you never said.
It's not a lot of energy, I agreed to date her after seven years apart and thought I'd give it my best shot. It's not going to work because I'm not prepared to accept that her behaviour is fine. I can't be bothered with people who aren't straight-forward and honest - she isn't.
The text she ignored is irrelevant, it was simply asking her how her day was going or something along those lines. The type she sends to me most days and which I wouldn't expect to just ignore without her quite rightly wanting to know why.
Some things are simple and I expect anybody with manners to know these rules.
So she must know the unwritten rules or she gets punished.
One of the DB concepts is to have no expectations (doesn't mean no boundaries.) This helps you from taking things personally. When I coach it would be unfair of me to get upset at my team if they were in a situation and didn't react they way I expected if I never covered how to play it. It's my job to prepare them, here's how we should handle things, if they don't execute then I have to give positive feedback.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Just wanted some feedback on whether her behaviour is rude.
Nope, that's not what you asked for:
Quote:
Communication was a major problem in our relationship with what seemed to me like tiny irrelevant things exploding into massive arguments. I think I have a perfect example here in a text message conversation. I would love people to have a look and honestly tell me, is it me or is it her - or perhaps both?
You obviously DON'T want people to tell you honestly what we plainly see as your communication problem, so I'm not really sure why you asked for something that you clearly don't want.
- Puppy, who's well-known around these parts for being SO excusing of WASs
Just confirm for me will you.
1. A man and woman text each other every day.
2. Man or woman just decides out of the blue to ignore the other's texts.
3. This decision isn't communicated in any way until the other party asks.
4. The 'ignored' party should have guessed the reason why as it was so obvious prior to being actually told (but only when they ask).
5. You think the person who decided to ignore the text message is not rude and should not have communicated this decision? If you think this is fine then no problem, I simply disagree with you and wouldn't tolerate as much as you might.
Some things are simple and I expect anybody with manners to know these rules.
So she must know the unwritten rules or she gets punished.
One of the DB concepts is to have no expectations (doesn't mean no boundaries.) This helps you from taking things personally. When I coach it would be unfair of me to get upset at my team if they were in a situation and didn't react they way I expected if I never covered how to play it. It's my job to prepare them, here's how we should handle things, if they don't execute then I have to give positive feedback.
I expect her to know the same basic rules of politeness I'd expect from my kids - YES! They wouldn't do that, they'd think it was rude.
No offence but you're not winning me over to your way of thinking.
